Brenda

Happy 43rd Birthday to my sister. I do not know why she can not even take my calls? I guess that is what happens when you grow up and everyone goes on with their life. They forget about their siblings and their parents. Why has that not happened to me? I worry so much about everyone and feel like I am going to loose them all. It is driving me insane. I do love you Brenda.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BRENDA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

Why?????????

Why is life so hard? Way to much for me to handle. People act like they do not care. It really hurts me. Way to much fighting, it brings bad memories back for me and it is tearing me up. I want to take the kids and run. I know what they are feeing and it is hurting me so bad. I need to do something about it too. It can not go on like this anymore. Something has got to change. It has gotten way out of hand. What do I do? Where do I go?

Also soooooooo worried about Mandy. I do not know what is wrong with her. She will not even go to see a doctor. This is also getting to me. Why does she not see what she is doing to me? Why? Does she not care? She even stops breathing. Her heart slows way down and her BP is so low. She is hurting in the back, chest, stomach and she said shehas a hard time breathing. Her ears ring and a couple of times she could not hear. She says her body gets really hot and it starts to tingle all over and then she passes out. What do I do? I can not force her to see a doctor. HELP? What can I do? I am so scared when she leaves the house, scared I will not see her again. I am scared to leave the house too. I feel like I am loosing my mind. WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

TO All MY GRANDSONS

First of all I want you to know that I love you all so very much. I hope I am around when you go on your first date. Preparing for a date can be quite nerve-wracking, even for the most mature of individuals. Here are some guide lines to to help you:

1. MAKE SURE YOU KNOW Her WELL ENOUGH TO GO ON A DATE WITH Her

2. Make sure dad & mom like her. If they don’t something is wrong with her. Parents know. ( right Mike & Joshua?)

3. Tell your dates parents what time you will bring her home. Don’t be late. Don’t forget to tell your parents too.

4. Don’t be late coming home. Parents get REALLY REALLY worried. If you are going to be late ie flat tire CALL both homes, let them know.

5. Always know if for any reason you need a ride home, phone home. Your parents will pick you up. Know matter what.

6. Where something that is nice.

7. Make sure the place you go, you will enjoy too.

8. Holding hands are okay, only if you want too. Open all doors for her. Pull the chair out for her. Forget womens lib. They do like that.

9. If she wants a kiss, only on the cheek. She will respect you more. If not, she is not worth going on a second date.

10. Last but not least, have fun…..

11. No girl/women are worth fighting for. Remember that.

P/S Our family can add to this if they want.

Love, Grandma Auayan

TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH

Had 13 teeth pulled all at once on the 8th of Nov., 2007 @ 1:30 pm. Hurts like hell. Afterwards, you feel like you have a bunch of junk in there. Changes your looks too. Have a hard time talking. But the good thing. I DO NOT HAVE HEADACHES since they were pulled. Today I feel a little bit better but I feel like I am going to pass out. Maybe it is the poison that was in my mouth. All I can say is take care of your teeth as I truly think it affects your health more than people think. Do noy get any metal in your mouth either. It is TRUE POISON. Brush your teeth with baking soda and salt. The tooth paste has way to much bad things in it. Just check it out yourself.

http://www.fluoridealert.org/news/2160.html

http://mizar5.com/keyes.html

Take care

TO ALL MY GRANDDAUGHTERS

First of all I want you to know that I love you all so very much. I hope I am around when you go on your first date. Preparing for a date can be quite nerve-wracking, even for the most mature of individuals. Here are some guide lines to to help you:

1. MAKE SURE YOU KNOW HIM WELL ENOUGH TO GO ON A DATE WITH HIM

2. Make sure dad & mom like him. If they don’t something is wrong with him. Parents know.

3. Let them know where your going and what time you will be home. Parents, will tell you the time to be home….

4. Don’t be late coming home. Parents get REALLY REALLY worried. If you are going to be late ie flat tire CALL HOME, let them know.

5. Always know if for any reason you need a ride home, phone home. Your parents will pick you up. Know matter what.

6. Where something that is nice. Not to sexy. Sexy clothes give guys wrong ideas.

7. Make sure the place you go, you will enjoy too.

8. Holding hands are okay, only if you want too.

9. If he wants a kiss, only on the cheek. He will respect you more. If not, he is not worth going on a second date.

10. Last but not least, have fun…..

P/S Our family can add to this if they want.

Love, Grandma Auayan

Anaiah

Anaiah,

I hope you know that I love you with all my heart. Your mom does not want you to see me. I do not know why she is doing what she is doing. When your mom walked out on your dad, he tried to see you and she kept you away. He never stopped. Your dad fought hard in court to get you. But our courts most of the time sides with the mom. Even when, in your case it would of been better to be with your dad. I don’t think your mom knows how much she is hurting you. One day when you get older you will read this and understand. We do love you very much. I’ve only got to see you few times. I want to see you more. I wish your mom would grow up and STOP thinking about herself and money.
When your dad takes you back to your mom, it breaks his and my heart to see you beg your dad not to leave you with her. It tears my heart out. You told me once you wanted your mom dead. I could not believe that came from a three year old. I told you that was not nice thing to say and that your mom loves you. You told me she is mean and does not love you. Wow, I see you are so hurt as your mom is trying to keep your dad out of your life. That will never happen. I know when you get older you can live with your dad and she can not stop you. That is what your dad is waiting for. Anaiah, I love you and miss you so much. I hope you never forget that.

Grandma Auayan

I do love you all, remember that

You know life is hard. There is many things I want to say to you all. Be good, think of others, don’t lie, don’t steal, feed my birds, don’t cheat, always be happy, stop and smell the roses Life really really is shorter than you think. If someone truly loves you, they will not try to change who you are. However, if you think you need to do some changing to better yourself, start today.Change comes from within. You all know right from wrong. At least I hope you do. You know your dad needs help. Especially if I am not here. He hurts. I know he is hard to understand, but you know what, he is a good man. He does love you all. I know sometimes he does not act like it. He just hurts. Hurt that you guys do not help him. I guess you know which ones you are. He just wants respect. Always help one another. Be their for each of you. You know with out family, it will get harder. One day you will not have each other. Let me tell you, it is so hard to go on. I have lost, my grandpa, my dad, my two sister’s. loosing my sisters has been so hard. It is even hard to write about it. I miss them so much. It tears me up. I hope one day we will be together. I really do not know if there is a God. But to those of you who do not believe, you might be wrong and loose so much. I hope there is a God because it would be wonderful to be in Heaven with all the people I love. There is no more pain only happiness. What more can you ask for. To be in a place with all the people you love & have no pain and sickness. Open the bible and read it. There is so much good in it.

I feel like I have lost you all. Some times I feel like you do not care. You know what? It really really hurts. You will not understand it until your children get to be adults their selfs. Remember I LOVE YOU ALL. If I ever hurt you please forgive me. My last breath, remember I forgive you all for anything and everything. Don’t feel sad. Be happy and PLEASE take care of your children. They need you. Teach, protect and love them. They need that. They watch you and they learn a lot by watching. So do good.

Mom

Joshua

July 28th I could of lost you. I know you hate me. I want you to know that I love you so much. If anything ever happened to you it would kill me. I know you do not believe me. I see you work so hard. Remember the hardest job you will ever have is raising your kids. It is 24/7 for a life time. They need you. It gets harder when they grow up. Don’t ever forget what is important.

As for me not raising you. Josh, I am so sorry you feel that way. You went with your dad in 1992 I went to pick you and Mike up in 1993. You fought with me and would not leave your dad. So I let you stay. You blame me for that, and I do not understand why. You were almost 13. I am sorry if you are hurt about that. There was not a day that went by that I did not worry about you. I remember the day you called me when you were locked in your room and that woman and was trying to hurt you. Do you know when I went to Guam I looked for her? If I have found her I would of kicked her ass. Also the time when your appendices burst. Boy I found your dad and yelled so hard and told him to take you to the hospital. He fought with me but I did not give up. We went there in 1996 you were almost 16. I went back to get us all back home. But it did not work out that way. We all stayed there until 1999. We all moved back here on Christmas day in 1999. The main reason we moved back here was because our children was not safe on that Island. Your dad finely seen it and believed me. Now we are here. Yes Josh life is hard. There will be times you just want to give up. Being rich is not whats important. Whats important is your family. Money can not give them love. Remember that. I love you Josh.

David

Aug. 3rd 2007 was Davids first day at work. He seems to like it a lot. They got the house too. I am so proud of both of them. However I am going to miss them so much. I am also going to worry more as they are in the city. I wish I had money so I could help them. They work so hard. Also I miss my grand babies. I will not get to see Baby’s first steps. Niks first day at school. Boy, the memories that are going through my head. Davids first day of school. He would not let go of my hand. It was such a sad day. I wanted to go back to school and bring him home. I had to fight myself. Now look you have your own family, and your first daughter is ready for her first day at school. I know Nik is ready but are you?

LIFE SO HARD

Don’t understand why life is so hard. Now days it feels like everyone only thinks about their self. I do not know why. I really don’t think I belong in this hated world. Whatever happened to the word FAMILY? Where has it gone? Where is it and why did everyone seem to loose the meaning of, FAMILY? What went wrong? Money? To busy? No love? Where did it go? HELP ANYONE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>